Sentiments

This has been the downiest part of my life.  I had been feeling terrible because of the unpleasant things that happened to me.  I chose to let it all go, I chose not to fight.  I chose to be silent and I pretend to be numb.  I act to smile and laugh about the single joke that I heard but I know I am fooling myself.  I know I am not ok.  And the sad thing is, I do not know how to help myself.

There are people who knew the deeper me.   Who saw me crying in pain and asking them what I did wrong and how to fix it.  God has been good to me.  Even though there are things that didn't work out well in my life, He blessed me with wonderful friends and loving family.  He never failed to make me feel that He is still there guiding and loving me.  So I wanna give thanks to the people who never get tired to listen to my numerous sentiments.

Jomer is one of the longest friend I have.  We used to be together but being friends worked better for the both of us.  He saw the best and worst in me.  For unknown reason, he always sense it whenever I have a problem.  It is like he has a connection in my mind and in my heart.  Never failed to make me smile in every single conversation we had.  He is just like my walking diary.  He already knew whats going on even before I tell him.  I can feel that he is hurt if I am hurt.  Even if he is away,  I know he is always there for me.

Franco has been a good friend to me since college.  We used to be together too for a while but we figured out that it won't work out.  But I am thankful that inspite that heartache, we made a beautiful friendship.  Years passed by but we still keep in touch.  He never put me down.  Never blame me for my stupid actions.  He was the "rebelde" type before but he changed a lot now.  I am so proud of him on what he is right now.

Joel is a new good friend.  Magaan ang loob ko sa taong ito.  I know I can open up my life to him anytime without the fear of judging me.  Never failed to motivate me about moving on, accepting things and gave me advices on how to be a better me. He once told me that I should put myself down.  I need to gain that self confidence that I lost for quite sometime.  

Rein, Ivy and Vhon.  They are the closest friend I had when I was in abroad.  Always there when I needed someone to talk to.  They always tell me that it is so easy to tell if I am not ok with just looking in my eyes.  They never get tired of my sentiments.  I missed laughing with these wonderful people.  Drinking non stop and stay outs during working days.

Billy - he was the one who was there when Ivy and Rein went back to Philippines.  We became good friends since then.   We always hang out and watch movies together.  Going to Tom's world and pretend that we are kids again.  He never left me alone.  He was always there for me until I have to return to the Philippines.

Morning Gurls.  Tinjoy, Kite, Tin and April.  We might lost track but whenever we see each toher online we never failed to ask hows everything.  I wanna thank them for a great friendship that didn't change after all these years.  I missed hanging out with them and I hope that we still can do it someday just like the good old days.

My life has been a rollercoaster ride.  Sabi nila I should write it daw to Maalaala Mo Kaya para ma publish yung story ko pero of course I won't do that.  Without these people, matagal na siguro akong nag surrender.  There were people who abused me. put me down, cheated on me but still, mas marami pa rin ang nagmamahal sa akin and they are the reason why I am still fighting and moving on.